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The Saga Of The European King

Mean Ol Ry


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Chapter 3 - Some Painful Goodbyes

Illustrations by Bruno Stahl

written by Tom McNally, illustrated by Bruno Stahl

The first volume of The Saga Of The European King is destined to soon be in print. Help to fund the rest of the illustrations and the print run through Indiegogo.

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The King's Adventure Friends were incredibly psyched after the war council and they followed out his orders very quickly. Within a day and a half there were so many troops marching North with General Majesty on their way to the Chillilious Plains, not to mention the troops securing the battlements all over the most important parts of Europe and a whole lot of troops lined up in the grounds outside Laeken Palace, which was the King's house, his office and his favourite place to hang with his friends.

The King made his goodbyes to his friends and family, which he had woken up early and lined up outside the Palace. It was hard for him to do so, because they thought that maybe he wouldn't come back because maybe some asshole might stab the King. The King was too cool and lucky for that, and he tried to tell them this, but they just wouldn't listen.

The King had prepared well for the goodbyes and had spent all night in the Palace's Royal Vaults shopping for presents for everyone. He didn't need to pay for them because they were his to start off with. Most of the treasures were stuff he'd picked up off dead Spaniards or inside the guts of a wild boar, or found in a chest that a secret room that he had found by being clever and not rushing through the levels. Others were passed down from his Royal Bloodline, and others still were gifts from some of his friends.

He had already given his Magic Telephone to General Majesty in private before he had left for the North. This was less of a gift and more of a practical move, because it allowed the King to talk to General Majesty whenever he felt like it, and visa versa. The King had made it look like a gift, though, by wrapping it nicely and talking it up.

“You can call me any time, General and just, you know, shoot the breeze or whatever,” he said.

“That is the best gift in the world, Your Highness, thank you,” said General Majesty.

“I'm going to miss you, Brian Majesty,” said the King. Both parties had meant what they said, especially about the missing. But even so, the King was all the while thinking about how useful it would be for him to be able to tell General Majesty to attack the Chillilious Plains at any moment. He would be able to attack Winter from two angles. This was strategy, and the King was very proud of himself for thinking of it.

During the big Goodbye Ceremony on the steps of the Palace, Mechanicus was the first to receive his present. He was in a hurry because he had to catch up with General Majesty who had already been on the move for half a day. He had said that he had stayed behind because he had to finalise the designs for the toys that would be coming out in the spring assortment, but really it was just so he could be near the King right up until the last possible minute and so he could get his present in front of everyone. The King presented his present with a shout and a smile.

“Ah, how convenient, a hammer that will never run out,” Mechanicus said. That was exactly what his present was.

“It will be handy for work!” said the King, who didn't know how to do anything that Mechanicus could do. How could he? The King was pretty great, but Mechanicus was from the future. Mechanicus understood this.

“I'll keep it close to my heart, Your Highness,” he said.

“Oh Mechanicus, could even a genius like yours replicate the heart of a man?”

“Yes, Your Highness, that should not be a problem” Mechanicus said. It was true.

The King was too cool to be married, and he'd only been going out with this one girl, Yvonne, for a month or so, so he didn't need to give her anything. It wasn't expected of him. She got an extra-long hug and the crowd cheered. She had the biggest room in the Palace and wasn't allowed to go out without an armed guard.

To Commander Flightfeather, he gave a tiny parakeet-sized human being along with the cage to keep it in. Commander Flightfeather didn't quite understand the joke here. The King was adamant that he must feed it every day and the Commander accepted that he would do this.

It has to be said that he gave the best gifts to those in his Adventure Team. He did this because they would be close to him throughout the whole of the Winter mission, so he would be able to borrow them fairly often. To Axe Axewound – the fighter - he gave an enchanted flaming axe, wrapped in a nice red ribbon, that could turn into a magic tent that could accommodate three people (it was always warm inside.) The King's Father had nabbed that axe off some Viking who had probably in turn stolen it from a demon enthralled to an evil archmage or something. Axe Axewound was really into his axes, as everyone knew, and when the ribbon came off and the axe flamed up, he had to spit three times because he was so excited.

To Father Dominoes, the King gave a solid gold Bible that always returned to the carrier when a magic word was spoken. It was quite heavy, so he also got a Scarf Of Strength so that he could lift it. This would make him more of an asset in battle, which had become an issue lately with the priest's drinking. The King was sure this would make the problem go away. Cutty, the King's sword, got a present even though he would be by the King's side for the entire journey. He was dipped in the blood of the most handsome and witty bull that had been raised in Europe. It was kind of gross, but Cutty was a sword and sword culture is sometimes just like that. To Colonel Glowfist, he gave a License To Kick Ass, which would come in useful later on. To Sally Minefield, he gave her an amulet that would let her breathe underwater, in case they came across any underwater locks.

“I don't think we've come across any locked doors underwater before,” said Sally.

“Well then just imagine how pleased you'll be when we do,” said the King irritably. Everyone in the crowd rolled their eyes at Sally.

And then the King gave to his son, Prince David, a forcefield belt, so he would be hard to kill or to bully. This happens to princes a lot.

“Keep it on always, little David. You must do this because I love you. I never want you to die or to be bullied. If that were to happen, all hope everywhere would be lost,” he told the boy while staring intently right into his face.

“Fank you daddy,” said David. He had been told to say this earlier by Yvonne. This was his big moment.

“Goodbye now, David. Say goodbye,” said the King, conscious of all those eyes upon him.

“Goodbye daddy I love you.”

David was a cute little guy.

Everybody cried, because they were in touch with their feelings. All of Europe was sad that their leader would be gone but at the same time they were glad that Commander Flightfeather would look after them and that the King's son would grow up fairly soon and carry on Kinging, even though they were confident that the King would return. They liked Commander Flightfeather because he was brightly coloured and often bumped into things in a comical way, which are good qualities in a leader who is not supposed to be the number one guy in the world. A lot of people started making plans for the year-long summers they would enjoy after Winter was killed. They would get some work done on their gardens, they reckoned, and also maybe get into jogging in the mornings. So, it was sad, but it was also happy, if you think about it.

The King's Adventure Team, with a quarter of the European Army marching out in front, left Brussels on their way to the Lands Of Winter, which is the most logical place for Winter to be. They didn't get very far outside the gates of Brussels before danger struck, in the form of those hated invaders from some hellish realm – birds!



End Of Chapter 3

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